At the beginning of this process I did not understand neither the direction and guidance nor what they asked me about me. I did not know where I should go to process my answers, to find out what happened to me.
The “me” was out of me, so I did not understand this work.
I went through different periods of anger and reactions since I could not “see” more than I had always seen. I could not conceive of anything outside the spectrum I had handled so far.
My codes, rites, handlings, traditions, customs, beliefs and inheritances, all this was exposed to a strange analysis for me.
After a while I was able to start paying attention to all my “repetitions”. I began to realize that there is a deep root in me that moves my usual mechanisms. Gradually, through group and individual work, I touched those roots, removing layers at the origin of all my things.
From here I undertook a search in my own darkness – that place that I did usually not visit. This allowed me to bring a light bulb to every inch of me, to each of my spaces. This is: clarifying my affairs cornered and accumulated for years in a dark area. I contrast them, check them… Process from my darkness and not in the confusion of what I thought clarity was.
It is an extensive work, a continuous process. It is to keep my eyes wide open to see, not to stop seeing. For knowing myself internally without qualms, without covering, without hiding. It is to face what is in me, what I am, without social prejudices and family, school, work or religious conditioning.
I am propped up, clarified and very well accompanied by Juanan, finding the key to open the doors that I want.