El Abrazo del Ángel Comunidad
Accompanying you to discover your Self
Transformational processes
Feedback
We feed-back ourselves to continue starving to death.
Previous spiritual experiences felt like fragmented experiences focused on the divine aspect of our human existence. They were very cathartic but when getting back home I would feel this vanishing. I couldn’t match them with my everyday experience as a human being. I felt my imperfection again and couldn’t make sense out of it.
After four years at EADA, it got clear to me that these experiences have a tendency of denying the distorted aspects in the human being which leads to a feeling of separateness. Here I have experienced a holistic view and learned not to see everything as black and white. Seeing and accepting the shadows of human existence opened up a space of working on them in me and integrating them in every situation in my life.
My life has been a permanent chaos. This has led me to dissatisfaction, always envying and comparing myself, believing that I could not change, finding no meaning in life.
My desire was to find someone to save me from this hell but the wound was there at the root.
I always knew that without the help of a therapist I could not live but I had done therapies without any progress. Nothing led me to the happiness that I was looking for. I didn’t realize that I was still looking for saviors until I was told about the work that is done in the EADA Comunidad. I immediately wanted to try.
The work is hard and long and like always in my life I doubt. Everything has happened to me since I started. At first I saw a lot of clarity and I felt good because they made me see clearly. There was the savior again.
Then I began to see myself and I felt attacked in many moments and wanted to run away. Finally there I discovered that in my life I have always felt this attack from others towards me. This had made me feel guilty constantly of everything and very lonely. I wasn’t able to see my innocence.
I am now discovering myself every day. I am living life with constant observation and being careful not to get into old thought patterns.
This project helped me jump into a completely different perception of the experience we’re all in. It helped me see to which extend I was avoiding and denying seeing certain aspects of myself to protect me from feeling my wounds. I can now clearly see that every resistance and avoidance is keeping me stuck in repetitive experiences. The fact that everyone here is reflecting on themselves and doing the same work helped me enormously. Gaining an increasing sense of safety I was able to open up, to see behind my mask and to do things I would have never imagined.
In essence, what I found here helps me walking the path in the spiral instead of only repeating the same circles. Juanan has a vast knowledge which clearly not only stems from theoretical concepts. Observing him and his approach has left no doubt in me that he is intuitively offering the experiences needed for everyone in every moment. The work here is truly life changing.
What I have been able to discover so far in my process at EADA is that I have been living in constant fragmentation. Many different parts separated by what I thought was right or wrong and always with the idea that in me there was an error impossible to transform. After a four-year trip I have been able to realize that only one thing really happens to me. That is the need for someone to assist me and save me from myself and that this is reflected in all aspects of my life. I am also aware now that there is nothing to cure because in reality the idea of my discomfort is only a distortion of what I really am in essence. I’ve always wanted to get out of my own jail to free myself. But now I see that only when entering what scares me the most is that I realize that there really never were bars.
I have stopped being focused on me to see what happens through me and to be able to offer it to life.
Being in the EADA Comunidad I realized that every single task was related to myself and part of my Self Discovery process. I saw that Juanan knew where I was and what I needed. It was a complex task because I was in a very particular situation. I have had other transpersonal therapies and conservative therapies but the situation living with the therapist 24 hours is totally different. Therefore it is a much more intense process. Also I saw that my process here was always taking place very intensely. Even more because you are sharing with other people who are also going through this process. That helped me to feel in company because I saw that other people also have similar issues. I discovered that we all have certain mechanisms which we define as part of our personality. By discovering my Enneatype I can understand them better.
The project has allowed me to explore my “personality” and my social interactions around it. I am learning to understand the perceived characteristics of myself and my behaviours.
Self Awareness and honesty has enabled me to identify my personality type. I am learning to orient myself so that transformation has the possibility of becoming a reality.
The process is positively life changing.
What I have discovered from my work at EADA so far is that I feel fear.
A fear, which is panic towards me, because having not known how to investigate, I ignored myself. I disconnected from myself and when I start connecting again I “die” of fear. I do not allow myself to know what my emotions, my needs, my impulses, my desires are. Because if I allow myself to look at that part of the shadow, the error in me will come to light destroying everything in my environment and what is of value to me.
Working in this project has helped me to see clear that the human experience is a continuum. I learned that the tasks and duties I do are helping me to see everything as a spiritual experience. This helps me staying in the present moment and confronting myself constantly. Juanan helped me to surrender to my emotions, to stop resisting and therefore to stop sustaining my blockages and my armor which had been keeping me trapped in my mechanisms and distortions. Only experiencing them gives me an opportunity to go deeper. Then I can see the origins and misconceptions in myself in order to take another perspective.
My experience with EADA Comunidad has been like a rollercoaster. I discovered things about me that I thought I had overcome already. Here I have had to face shame and feeling ridiculous. I realized that when I do things in the beginning I experience them as very exiting but then I get bored quickly. I am very grateful about meeting other people here which I felt a strong connection with. Being able to embrace everyone here has opened up my heart. I am more disciplined but I still have a lot to process. After all, the experience has been very impacting, positive and nourishing so far.
After spending a few days in El Abrazo del Ángel Comunidad project I realized quickly that in contrary to other psychological or psychiatrical services this experience is about acknowledging and surrendering to your emotions to not avoid them in order to have a “comfortable” experience which would only make you continue going around in circles.
When I came here I knew something had to change but I didn’t know exactly what it was. Through development of awareness, which you learn here, it became more clear that I was fixed in childhood as an adult and I never revisited my behaviour. I am becoming more open despite all my faults because of the safe environment. Here you can work on your fears and conditions to experience what it’s like when you let them go. Therefore it is a highly transformational process to your essence and Self which let’s you see what you’re meant to be. Also I realized that this process will continue for the rest of my life because every person and situation you are put in is a mirror and lesson. But I also learned to see the absurd of everything. Eventually I am becoming more free and aware, living with less fears. Overall I feel I am more alive instead of being a robot.
Juanan confronts you with yourself and gets in some way into you to get it out. He provides what is needed.
What I have discovered through EADA Comunidad is that all my life has been a farce and that I am not who I thought I was: a strong, powerful, capable, interesting woman…
I have seen that this image was really just a mask with which I presented myself to others to prevent them from seeing my fragility, my vulnerability. I was afraid they could reject me and I would suffer from it.
What I have discovered in EADA Comunidad is that true strength arises from vulnerability, and that as I allow myself to be what I am, fragile, cheerful, sad, angry, understanding, distrustful, etc. I feel freer, more me and more alive than ever.
At the beginning of this process I did not understand neither the direction and guidance nor what they asked me about me. I did not know where I should go to process my answers, to find out what happened to me.
The “me” was out of me, so I did not understand this work.
I went through different periods of anger and reactions since I could not “see” more than I had always seen. I could not conceive of anything outside the spectrum I had handled so far.
My codes, rites, handlings, traditions, customs, beliefs and inheritances, all this was exposed to a strange analysis for me.
After a while I was able to start paying attention to all my “repetitions”. I began to realize that there is a deep root in me that moves my usual mechanisms. Gradually, through group and individual work, I touched those roots, removing layers at the origin of all my things.
From here I undertook a search in my own darkness – that place that I did usually not visit. This allowed me to bring a light bulb to every inch of me, to each of my spaces. This is: clarifying my affairs cornered and accumulated for years in a dark area. I contrast them, check them… Process from my darkness and not in the confusion of what I thought clarity was.
It is an extensive work, a continuous process. It is to keep my eyes wide open to see, not to stop seeing. For knowing myself internally without qualms, without covering, without hiding. It is to face what is in me, what I am, without social prejudices and family, school, work or religious conditioning.
I am propped up, clarified and very well accompanied by Juanan, finding the key to open the doors that I want.
Client statements on different aspects of the process
- Reasons for starting the process
- Purposes of starting the process
- Difficulties during the process
- Shocking aspects of the process
- I want to discover how I “function”.
- My fear of illness and death.
- I wanted to know why I was sick and how to solve it.
- I was tired and scared of wanting to take my life.
- I felt helpless in a violent and aggressive environment.
- I was drowning so I asked for help without knowing what I needed.
- I have always felt perverse, bad, twisted and above all sex driven.
- I have so much anger and so much anger towards authority and some institutions.
- I had lost interest in everything and didn’t know what to do.
- A family conflict with my in-laws was hurting me. I learned that abandonment is what triggered this intense pain in me.
- I felt lost.
- I was dealing with anxiety and I had neglected psychiatric treatment.
- Breaking my dynamics established through time.
- Occupying the total space that by birth right inhabits me.
- Becoming happy and gaining emotional wisdom.
- Being able to be myself and to be at peace.
- Leaving my judgments and prejudices behind, opening up to possibilities.
- To give myself permission to “be” what I really am, to experience me.
- Discovering me without going around in more circles.
- Being helped.
- Loving me and others.
- Being direct, clear.
- Speaking in the first person. I didn’t know how to do it and I felt under pressure.
- Stop talking about others and stating what happens to me with them.
- Identify what was underneath the surface.
- Expressing myself emotionally.
- Focusing on the work, the observation, the analysis.
- I felt attacked.
- Admitting that my own idea and way of living my spirituality was the trap that prevented me from being connected to my essence.
- To accept Juanan dismantling my ideas about my defects and shortcomings.
- To accept being who I am at every moment.
- Leave the ego aside and humbly accept what I am.
- I couldn’t understand being right or wrong was not important in this approach.
- My strongest resistance is that I can’t stand not being right.
- I was scared about situating myself in the Enneagram because it would put a label on me.
- Not to be able to escape from me.
- Mistrusting the process of transformation.
- Taking responsibility for my process, leaving the victimhood aside, to recover memories.
- Not knowing if I would like not being a fake.
- Focusing on my feelings rather than looking for perpetrators of my disgrace.
- Looking inside instead of outside.
- Having the feeling of not having any answers to questions about me.
- Discovering that the stories I told me about me and my family were distorted beliefs to keep clinging to victimhood.
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